Who Am I?
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to answer this question. From entrance exams, resumes, cover letters, character quizzes, social and course introductions, applications and bios. When answering this question we consider what labels, accomplishments and characteristics we wish to present in order to shape the perception that (we think) others may hold of us. We list attributes that appear desirable as we present our honest (yet maybe the most admired) parts.
We all do it…most of the time without even being aware. There is no deceit, no trickery and no dishonesty. We simply scour our material reality do our best to answer the question “Who am I” with what we can perceive and see.
But are each of these aspects really “who we are”? What about when your situation changes? When the labels you attached yourself to are stripped away? When you transcend or are removed from the reality you previously occupied?
Does that mean YOU change?
Does moving to Dubai mean I am no longer ME?
Does leaving MY job as a teacher change who I AM?
Does MY relationship status of single to girlfriend to fiancee change who I really AM?
Does the fact that I get frustrated driving mean I AM an angry person?
Does taking care of myself mean I AM selfish?
The answer to each of these are NO! For these labels to BE “me”, means that without them, part of me ceases to exist. Each of these are, of course, parts of my reality, experience and existence but if they are removed, I still remain whole rather than incomplete.
Here lies much of the suffering we endure through transition and change. When we attach our identity and ourselves to the labels layered wrapped around us, we only set ourselves up to face loss and emptiness when they are relinquished.
Living with the Labels…
“Who am I” is a question many people want to avoid. Why?
Maybe because these labels help them to present themselves in a controlled, desirable and curated way and fear that going deeper may risk control over the image presented?
For some it may be a way to try and prove their worthiness…sadly believing somehow and somewhere along the way that there are not worthy for simply being.
Perhaps the labels are identifiable enough to help them find connection with others attaching to similar labels? In losing the labels, we fear risking social exclusion?
Is it possible that they fear discovering hidden parts of themselves? Labels that have been abandoned or removed because of contractiction, shame or fear. The creative perfectionist, the selfish caretaker, the successful recluse or the sensitive extrovert?
Or maybe attaching to the labels simply feel easier than asking the question…WHO AM I…really?
Losing the labels…
Without connecting to the unchanging essence of who we are, we always risk facing the crippling sense of loss when the world around us undoubtedly changes. The labels themselves cause no harm, it is the attachment to them that risks suffering.
“Even losing the layers and labels you CHOOSE to remove may leave you feeling empty.”
So who am I?
The answer lies in the remembering that you and those around you are so much more that the layers, labels and stories.
That at the very core, you are constant and unchangeable.
You simply are…
You are the unshakable, unwavering light of awareness.
Try These Exercises…
Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down.
Breathing through the nose and closing the eyes when you are ready.
Begin slowing down the breath, finding a balanced ratio of 4:4.
Inhale, saying “I” in your mind.
As you exhale say “Am” in your mind.
Continue as long as you need, saying this phrase in your mind with the breath.
OR - Use this spotify link. Listen to the song and use the 7 minutes to connect only to the words - I Am
