Are you a passive passenger or the captain of your life?
I was speaking with a client recently who shared that for the first time in a very long time, she felt like she was no longer a passive passenger in life and that she finally understood what it meant to have the autonomy to CHOOSE how she WANTS to live, not just what she NEEDS to survive. She realised that up until this point she had been simply surviving and her coping mechanism of choice has been ESCAPING, waiting out each day until it was over and a new one started. She had spent years simply going through the motions and believed that was what life had to offer, wondering why it didn’t feel great and why she was faced with chronic heath concerns.
That conversation reminded me of a former version of myself because years ago I had the same experience. I had spent years living this way, often wondering what all the fuss about “life” was, because it seemed pretty insignificant and uninspiring to me. I went through the motions each day with my only aspiration to be a wallflower, masking well enough to both “just fit in”and go “unnoticed” by others. This aspiration to be invisible and passive was a survival response and the only priority was to escape from the reality of my experience. As it was for my client.
But why?
In the past, when we came across stressful, overwhelming or traumatic situations and hadn’t yet found the tools to manage these, we used mental diversion (netflix, alcohol, relationships, work, shopping, perfectionism, scrolling, food, nicotine, gaming and even just staying busy) to escape the discomfort of feeling and we continued to use these strategies to escape from all unpleasant aspects of daily life. We used escapism to suppress feelings of sadness, fear, depression, anxiety or exhaustion instead of acknowledging, processing or feeling them.
The problem is that after years of relying solely on these escapism coping mechanisms, we will all find that somewhere down the line, life doesn’t feel great and we are left thinking “surely there is more to this”. We become a passive passenger in life, simply making our way through the to-do list for the day. We are trying to "get through the day" rather than finding joy in it. We are "waiting for the weekend/ holiday" instead of appreciating what has gone well. We have lost the connection to ourselves, the people around us and our sense of purpose in life.
We are doing everything "right" so why doesn’t it FEEL right?
Because we chose to escape life rather than embody it and with that we stole the opportunity to love it.
So why do we choose to escape ourselves and the reality of our experiences?
Maybe you are seeking to escape because the feeling wanting to be seen seems too painful to hold?
Perhaps because the prospect of addressing them seems overwhelming?
Maybe simply that you don't know where to start?
Or that you don’t yet have the tools to hold the bigger feelings comfortably?
Want to become the captain of your life?
Join one of my workshops -
Rebalance and Restore
Soul Embodiment - A journey to Connection
Drop me a message for more information.
From my heart to yours,
Antonia